Philadelphia Eagles (1-3) at Buffalo Bills (3-1)
Pick: Eagles
How come?: The Eagles could definitely be this year’s version of last year’s Cowboys, the team I kept picking over and over again because of their incredible talent, even though they kept losing every week. But I don’t know, have you seen the Eagles’ roster?? You got your McCoy, your Asomugha, your Guy We’re Not Supposed to Like When Matilda’s Around. They’re really stacked, I’m going with them.
Kansas City Chiefs (1-3) at Indianapolis Colts (0-4)
Pick: Colts
What? Why?: I don’t like the Colts [upward inflection], but that doesn’t mean I always have to pick against them [upward inflection]. It would be really cute if those little troopers could win a game one of these weeks, and at home against the Chiefs might be their best chance. KC’s coming off a non-loss, but you’d still have to describe them as floundering (what an embarrassing name for a fish, by the way, they must hate it!). And Indy almost won last week, despite Curtis Painter occasionally doing the soccer thing when you just send the ball into open space. Colts give their jersey-tucked-into-cargo-shorts fanbase something to smile about with an 8-6 win.
Arizona Cardinals (1-3) at Minnesota Vikings (0-4)
Pick: Vikings
Aw geez, yeah?: Yeah, sure, why not.
Seattle Seahawks (1-3) at New York Giants (3-1)
Pick: Giants
Makes sense, you don’t have to explain yourself: There’s your birthday present, Joe, I hope you like it. Your team might be thrown off a little when they see the opposing coach hugging all of this players and slapping them five throughout the game, but as long as the Giants make sure to have at least 10 guys on the field at all times, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. Also, not sure if you’ve gotten me anything for my unbirthday yet, but if you can have Eli throw an errant pass off Pete Carroll’s tall head while he attempts a high five, you’ll’ve made my unbirthday.
Tennessee Titans (3-1) at Pittsburgh Steelers (2-2)
Pick: Steelers
I hate you: The Steelers are banged up: James “Fined” Harrison is out, as are two starting d-linemen. Their starting running back is questionable. Even Roethlisberger’s got a bum foot to go with his bum morals. They’re coming off a tough loss in Houston, so their confidence is probably a little banged up, too. The Titans, on the other hand, are playing great behind their Jesuitly educated quarterback. I would pick them if I had the guts or any kind of self-respect at all. Which is why I’m going with Pittsburgh.
New Orleans Saints (3-1) at Carolina Panthers (1-3)
Pick: Saints
Word?: Are we really supposed to pick this one? Not sure it’s even worthy of an explanation. So I’ll just direct you to this picture of Jimmy Clausen, who showed up to his Notre Dame commitment press conference in a white limo, sporting a blowout, his varsity letter jacket, and his high school championship rings.
(to be continued maybe)
McManus Picks 