McManus Picks

Picks are up. Here’s the Thursday night game:

Buccaneers (3-1) at Bears (3-1)

I have the Bucs.

Birthday came early for Joe in Week 4: he tied for the win and secured a tie atop the standings. He had to share his cake with Colleen though, whose loyalty to the Browns paid off nicely 🙂. The cake was made with sun butter ☹️.

But let us not move off the subject of team loyalty, as the very concept was shaken to its core in Week 4. Joe earned his victory in a most unsavory manner, by stabbing both his second-favorite team the Giants in the back and also his most favorite team the Patriots in the back. Disturbing, yes, but not unprecedented. The most revolting act, however, was committed by Dad, who clung to his lead also by stabbing the Patriots in the back. The Patriots being you know the source of all the happiness and self-worth his family has experienced for the last two decades.

Not only does that violate a league rule, it makes one lose faith in the very purity of sports gambling. Brady to the Bucs. Gronk to the Bucs. Dad picking the Chiefs. Gut-wrenching stuff.

Unfortunately rules are rules and Dad has now forfeited the season.

Good luck!

Commish

Hello and welcome to the 2019 McManus Picks season!

Even though I tried really hard to let Tim win, it turns out that even my worst is good enough. My noble quest to cede a shred of glory to my pining older brother came down to the last game of the year but, alas, the Colts won easily and I had to settle for my seventh championship instead.

The seven titles are a record, breaking the mark of six held by me. And six is three times the number of titles held by anyone else. It’s an embarrassment of titles, really. I would give some away if I chose to do such a thing but, alas, I have chosen not to.

What a hwirlwind of a season! A bombogenesis even! A ton of noteworthy stuff happened in 2017, so let us identify the stuff worthy of note:

A quick preview to see where we stand:

• Matt is clinging to a one-point lead.
• Cait’s bold switch to the Niners last week cinched a win and moved her into a tie for second place.
• Peepa is four back, making a final-week run at the title unlikely. But with guys like Sean Mannion starting this week, it might be more likely than we think.
• JFV has made up nine points on JRV in the last three weeks, putting him just three points behind his old man. And something tells me Joseph’s unpredictable picking style will play well this week.

Will Matt hang on for his first-ever title? Will Cait complete her push for her first-ever title? Will I impress everyone by winning my seventh-ever title? The tension is real.

Good luck. May you pick like McFarland.

• Yes, you’ve probably heard the news already: Joe failed to escape the Pit of Misery. His back-to-back POM trips, we have to assume, are a record not likely to be matched in our lifetimes.
• But that wasn’t the biggest story of the week. Kyle forgot to submit picks. Since this is the Year of Leniency, he was granted home teams (and the Pats) and managed a 10. Just one point ahead of Kyle, Ciara must be steamin’ mad, since she submitted picks and also got a 10. Yes, her submission was illegally late and her predicament is very ironic, but I bet she’s still steamin’ mad.
• I mentioned earlier that Joe’s unprecedented misery wasn’t the biggest story of the week. Here’s what was; Peepa tried to pull a Thursday-night Monte on the Commish! He picked the Colts, switched it to the Broncos the morning after the game, seemingly in jest, then wrote in the Broncos on Sunday! Luckily the results are scrubbed clean every week, so Peepa’s Hindu was denied.
• When I said “Here’s what was” above, you’ll noticed I used the droopy colon, which directs the reader farther down the page. Here’s what that droopy colon is pointing to: Tim had a perfect week.

Two weeks left. The gritty is now nitty. Dig deep and pick bravely.

Some Week 14 notes:

• Matt stole the last can of Who Hash by claiming a victory marred by controversy. His picks came in considerably late but, due to his undeniable exuberance to see Santa Claus on Sunday and increased leniency from the Commissioner’s office this year, he got full credit.
• Matt’s win also vaulted him into first place, quite controversially. This was akin to the Grinch lying right to a toddler’s face.
• Amazingly, Joe and Matt were tied going into Week 14. But after losing all of the toss-up games and falling on his sword for the Giants, Joe is now seven points back.
• Stock up on Band-Aids now: Such volatility will undoubtedly lead to an uptick in nail-biting over the last three weeks. Matt’s clinging to a one-point lead, with three players less than five points back. But three fierce battles for bragging rights are still being fought:
  • Ciara leads Kyle by one.
  • Cait flipped a three-point deficit to Joe into a three-point lead.
  • Erin’s nonchalant picking style is aiding her escape from the basement; She’s now tied with Colleen and just one point back of Marie.

It might be cold outside, but the McManus Picks competition is red hot. Pick goodly.